- "He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're on the can.
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass, from here to Pakistan.
You'd better not breathe, You'd better not move,
You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!"
- ―A Xmas Carol[source]
Xmas is a holiday celebrated on Earth on December 25th of each year. The holiday has been in existence for centuries, although the specifics of the celebration have changed throughout the years.
The History of XmasEdit
Although Xmas' origin is unclear, it seems to have been started by a religious sect known as the Christians, who would go on to dominate much of the planet economically, politically and religiously, as they expanded to other regions and incorporated local pagan traditions. But Christmas, as it was known in those days, came into its own with the economic system of consumerism. By the 21st century, Earthicans had developed a series of traditions for the holiday that involved everything from gathering of far flung family members, decorating yards, trees, the interior and exterior of their homes with lights, the exchange of gifts, singing "Christmas carols" and the jolly figure of Santa Claus would travel the planet on the night before Christmas giving presents to the "good" little boys and girls.
Xmas and Robot SantaEdit
- "In all the tinsel and terror of the holiday season we too often underestimate that murderous brute better known as Santa Claus. With images of last year's gingerbread massacre freshly baked into our memories, I remind you to bolt your doors, say goodbye to your pets, and lock your children in the closet. This is Walter Cronkite saying, "I told you so""
- ―Walter Cronkite's head[source]
Over the 3rd millennium, much of the religious ceremony that had defined Christmas for much of its history appears to have discarded, though many of the other traditions survived albeit in slightly different forms. For example, while the tradition of decorating an Xmas Tree has continued from the tradition of a Christmas Tree, the traditional pine tree used in the past has been replaced by palm trees due to the former going extinct in the 2200s.
But a new tradition was begun after 2801, when the "Friendly Robot Company" (possibly a precursor to Mom's Friendly Robot Company) built a robotic Santa Claus to "Yuletide" specifications. While Robot Santa Claus was intended to be able to determine whether the planet's population was naughty or nice and deliver presents accordingly as the mythic and non-robotic Santa of Christmas is said to have done centuries before, but a programming error resulted in standards so high that he pronounced everyone naughty and proceeded to spend Xmas after Xmas traveling around the planet dishing out destruction and mayhem.
For this reason, Earth has instigated a planet wide curfew and anyone caught outside after sundown is likely to be caught and killed by Santa Claus.
Traditions of XmasEdit
- The Giving of Gifts: the custom of giving gifts to one's friends and family for Xmas is an integral part of the celebration. These gifts may range in the form of packages wrapped up with colorful paper to cards mailed in the post.
- Singing: Another staple in the customs of Xmas time, the holiday spirit seems to compel people to sing for some reason. A further word of warning: groups of robots have been known to use caroling as a ruse to rob homes.
- Alms Giving: Some Earthicans use the holiday to help their fellow beings, an example of which is the liquor kitchen for homeless robots.
- Suicide: Sadly suicide rates, much like the 21st Century, seem to rise during the Xmas season as there is usually a line at suicide booths at that time of year.