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Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences (Main Episode) - 6

The Scary Door Logo.

The Scary Door is a popular television show on Earth. Each episode consists of a scene that is a pastiche of episodes of the Twilight Zone, or another subject of science fiction. When watching The Scary Door, everyone appears unmoved and Bender has even said, "saw it coming". This may mean that it's a very predictable television program.


Episode 1, featured in the Futurama episode "A Head in the Polls"[]

Narrator: You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter The Scary Door.

The Last Man on Earth walks into a library.

Narrator: As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on Earth.

Last Man: Finally, solitude. I can read books for all eternity! (drops his glasses) It's not fair, it's not fair! (calms down) Wait, my eyes aren't that bad. I can still read the large-print books.

He reaches for a book, but his eyes fall out.

Last Man (hysterical): It's not f— (calms down) Well, lucky I know how to read Braille.

He screams as his hands fall off. Soon, his tongue falls out right before the man's head falls off.

Narrator: Hey, look at that weird mirror...

Episode 2, featured in the Futurama episode "I Dated A Robot"[]

Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.

Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins.

Clyde Simth: Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!

He wins again.

Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in HELL!

Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!

Cabot unrolls some curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it.

Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!

Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!

He pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler.

Clyde Smith: No!

Clyde turns to a woman sitting next to him.

Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!

The woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a giant fly.

Clyde Smith: A-a-ah!


Episode 3, featured in the Futurama episode "Spanish Fry"[]

Narrator: You're on a scenic route through a state recreational area known as the human mind. You ask a pass-byer for directions, only to find he has no face or something. Suddenly up ahead, a door in the road. You swerve, narrowly avoiding The Scary Door.

A mad scientist is seen mixing some chemicals.

Scientist: I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all.

A pod opens flowing with clouds of steam. Suddenly, a nude man steps out from the pod.

Naked Man: Turns out it's man!

Episode 4, featured in the Futurama comic "Let's Twist Again"[]

Narrator: Imagine, if you will, a three by seven inch wooden frame - a frame that's a gateway to a world of imagination. Wipe your mind on the welcome mat. You're about to enter The Scary Door.

A man is driving his car.

Narrator: Meet Brad Thompson, a man on his way home from a boring day at the office.

Brad: Man, I wish something exciting would happen...anything at all.

A fire truck appears behind him.

Brad: What's this? A fire truck is trying to pass me? To get to my neighbourhood? I'll bet my neighbour's house is on fire. I'd better speed up if I want to watch that.

Brad speeds up, parks outside his neighbour's house, and gets out of the car.

Man: Oh, hi Brad, sorry to tell you but... you're on fire!

And he's right. Brad's lower bit is on fire.

Brad: Yaaargh!

Brad burns to just a skeleton, which collapses on the ground.

Fireman: We tried to warn him that he was spontaneously combusting, but he drove away from us.

Narrator: Official cause of death, third degree burns... actual cause of death, first degree irony!

Episode 5, featured in the Futurama movie "Bender's Game"[]

Scary Door - T-Rex

T-Rex destroying UFO

Location: 13 minutes 39 seconds

Narrator: Imagine if you will, an announcer you can barely understand, he refers to a (mutters), but you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about the Scary Door.

A farm is shown. Suddenly, UFOs appear and start shooting everything. The military arrives to fight the aliens.

Private: It's all over! Our guns and bombs are useless against the aliens.

Farmer: The saucers! They's a-crashin'!

Narrator: In the end, it was not guns and bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Tyrannosaurus Rex is shown hitting down an alien saucer.

Episode 6, featured in the Futurama episode "Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences"[]

Narrator: You're taking a vacation from normalcy. The setting, a weird motel where the bed is stained with mystery, and there's also some mystery floating in the pool. Your key card may not open the exercise room because someone smeared mystery on the lock, but it will open... The Scary Door. Submitted for your Emmy consideration, a popular senator with unpopular ideas.

Senator: There is no such thing as space aliens.

Bum: Oh, how can you be so sure them aliens ain't already among us?

Senator: I'll tell you how, because you are one!

DUNH DUNH DUNH!

Episode 7, featured in the Futurama episode "Benderama"[]

Narrator: Enclosed is a .pdf attachment, a picture of yourself in a boat on a river. It's a river that flows in two directions. Make that three. It's a magic river. That's how. It is flowing down the eerie canal to... The Scary Door. That's eerie with two Es

A scientist finishes constructing a robot.

Narrator: Consider, if you have the energy, Dr. Daniel Zeus, an inventor with a terminal case of the lazies.

Daniel: This robot will do everything for me! Robot, activate yourself and do my research.

The robot does so. Daniel lies back on a chair.

Daniel: Ah!

LATER

Daniel: Next, assume my social obligations.

The robot does so. Years later, the scientist is now old and an official enters.

Official: Dr. Daniel Zeus, for a lifetime of scientific achievement, we present this award to... your robot!

The official gives Daniel's robot a trophy. A boy then enters.

Boy: Daddy, I love you!

The boy turns away from the scientist and hugs the robot.

Daniel: If only I'd programmed the robot to be more careful what I wished for! Robot, experience this tragic irony for me!

The robot buries its face in its hands. The boy backs away.

Robot (Extendedly): No!

Daniel pops open a beer and takes a sip.

Daniel: Ah!

Scary Mirror Episode 1 , featured in the Futurama episode "The Impossible Stream"[]

Pastiches[]

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