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Space Pilot 3000/Quotes

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Fry: What's with the eye?
Leela: I'm an alien, all right? Now let's drop the subject.

Fry: Is that blimp accurate?
Leela: Yes. It's December 31, 2999.

Leela: Interesting. Your DNA test show you have one living relative. He's your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great nephew.
Fry: That's great! What's the little guy's name?
Leela: Professor Hubert Farnsworth.

Leela: Look, I know it's not much consolation. But, I understand how you feel.
Fry: No, you don't. I've got no home, no family.
Bender: No friends.
Fry: My whole world is gone. You can't possible understand what it feels like to be so alone.
Leela: I understand. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet. My parents abandoned me here as a baby and I don't even know what galaxy they were from. I know how it feels to be alone.

(after he freezes Leela)

Fry: See ya' in a thousand years.

(Is about to leave, then comes back and switches it from 1000 years, to five minutes)

Fry: You owe me.

Fry: So I guess without jobs, we'll be fugitives forever.
Prof. Farnsworth: Not necessarily. Are you three, by any chance, interested in becoming my new spaceship crew?
Bender: New crew? W-What happened to the old crew?
Prof. Farnsworth: Oh, those poor sons of - but that's not important. The important thing is I need a new crew.

Leela: Can't we get away in the ship?
Prof. Farnsworth: I suppose it is technically possible. Though I am already in my pyjamas.

Smitty: Attention, job deserters! Come out with your hands up. We have you partially surrounded! [edit]
Prof. Farnsworth: Let me show you around. That's my lab table and this is my work-stool. And over there is my intergalactic spaceship! And here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire.
Fry: Whoa! A real live spaceship!
Prof. Farnsworth: I designed it myself. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.

Prof. Farnsworth: Who are you?
Fry: I'm your dear old Uncle Fry.
Prof. Farnsworth: I don't have an Uncle Fry.
Bender: You do now!

Fry: It's my old neighbourhood. Man, this brings back a lot of memories.
Bender: Keep 'em to yourself, pops.

Bender: You were right, Fry! From now on I'm going to bend what I want, when I want, who I want!

Smitty: Keep your big nose out of this, eyeball!
Leela: No one makes fun of my nose.

Leela: Look, he's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd really rather not force it on him.
Ipgee: Well that's your job, whether you like it or not and it's my job to make you do your job whether I like it or not - which I do - very much!

Suicide Booth: You are now dead. Thank you for using Stop-N-Drop, America's favourite suicide booth since 2008.

Suicide Booth: Please select mode of death: "Quick And Painless" or "Slow And Horrible".
Fry: Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call.
Suicide Booth: You have selected: "Slow And Horrible".
Bender: Great choice!

Leela: You've been assigned the job you're best at just like everyone else.
Fry: What if I refuse?
Leela: Then you'll be fired...
Fry: Fine!
Leela: ...out of a cannon into the Sun!

Prof. Farnsworth: My god, I am your nephew. This is absolutely incredible!
Bender: Heh-heh, can we have some money?
Prof. Farnsworth: Oh my, no!

Fry: So what do you do, Bender?
Bender: I'm a Bender. I bend girders. That's all I'm programmed to do.
Fry: Were you any good?
Bender: Are you kidding? I could bend a girder to any angle - thirty degrees, thirty-two degrees... thirty-one... but I couldn't go on living once I found out what they were for.
Fry: What?
Bender: Making suicide booths!

Fry: Why would a robot need to drink?
Bender: I don't need to drink. I can quit any time I want!

Fry: C'mon, Bender! It's up to you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals... and animal robots.

Bender: You really want a robot for a friend?
Fry: Yeah, ever since I was six.
Bender: Well, okay. But I don't want people thinking we're robo-sexuals, so if anyone asks, you're my debugger.

Fry: Can I ask you a question?
Leela: As long as it's not about my eye.
Fry: Uh...
Leela: Is it about my eye?
Fry: Sort of.
Leela: [sighs] Just ask the question.
Fry: What's with the eye?
Leela: I'm an alien, all right? Now let's change the subject.
Fry: [excited] Cool, an alien. Has your race taken over the Earth?
Leela: No, I just work here.

Fry: My God! It's the future. My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend. I'll never see any of them again. Yahoo!

Fry: Wait a minute, is that blimp accurate?
Leela: Yep. It's December 31st 2999.
Fry: My God! A million years!

Fry: Space; It seems to go on and on forever...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

Fry: Whoa... a real live robot; or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Fry: It doesn't look so shiny to me.
Bender: Shinier than yours meatbag.

Fry: This is awesome! Are we gonna fly through space fighting monsters and teaching alien women to love?
Farnsworth: If by that you mean transporting cargo? Then yes!

Fry: Hello! Pizza delivery for... I.C. Wiener? Aww, crud. I always thought by this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls.

Leela: Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator.

Fry: If your programming told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?
Bender: I dunno, I'd have to check my programming... yup.

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