My Broken Friend is a song performed by Bender and Beck's Head in "Bendin' in the Wind".
Bender: People say my broken friend is useless.
But I say his mind is free.
There's lots of things my mangled robot friend could be.
Beck [speaking]: Kick it!
Bender: Well he could make a good hat rack,
Beck [speaking]: He only has to stand there.
Bender: Or a cheap doorstop,
Beck [speaking]: He doesn't need to move.
Bender: Or a great big giant thermos with a twist off top,
Beck [speaking]: That would be good for soup.
Bender: He could be a storage closet for outdated pants.
Beck [speaking]: I like 'em tight.
Bender: My broken friend could do it all,
Beck & Bender [Beck speaking, Bender singing]: Just give him a chance!
Bender: That robot has a tragic secret
That I'd like to share.
Beck [speaking]: For real?
Bender: My broken friend is closer to me than an ass to a chair.
Beck [speaking]: Mmmm.
Bender: That robot's name I never told you...
Beck [speaking]: What's that?
Bender: ... you could not foresee.
Beck [speaking]: C'mon, give it up.
Bender: I sing it loud and sing it proud,
Beck & Bender [Beck speaking, Bender singing]: His name is you and me!
Bender: Don't melt me down into a crowbar,
Beck [speaking]: It suffers alone,
Bender: Just 'cause I can't move my arms and legs. [He starts moving his arms and legs]
Beck [speaking]: Hey!
Bender: Or toss me into a trash can,
Beck [speaking]: Bender, what are you doin'?
Bender: Just 'cause I can't cook you ham and eggs.
Beck [speaking]: What are you doin'?
Bender: Don't crush me into an anchor,
Beck [speaking]: Yo, what the dilly-o?
Bender: Just 'cause I can't jump and dance and sing
I'm telling you, my broken friend...
Put your hands in the air like you just don't care!
I'm telling you my broken friend
Can do most anything!
Yeah!