|I Want My Hands Back|
|Music by||Ken Keeler|
|Lyrics by||Ken Keeler|
|Performed by||Dan Castellaneta as the Robot Devil, Billy West as Fry, Zoidberg and Farnsworth, Katey Sagal as Leela, Lauren Tom as Amy, Phil LaMarr as Hermes and Preacherbot|
|Appearance||The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings|
Fry: [speaking] Look, what do you want?
Robot Devil: [singing] I want my hands back.[Laughing]
Fry: [talking] Never!
[singing] A deal's a deal,
Even with a dirty dealer.
Robot Devil: Very well,
Then I'll take what I want from Leela.
Leela has promised me her hand.
Leela: Fry, you do not understand.
I should have revealed I've been deafened by Bender,
But I feared you'd stop writing this musical splendor,
Deception's the curse of my whimsical gender,
He gave me mechanical ears,
Effective though just a bit garish,
In return without shedding a tear,
I agreed that I'd give him my hand--
Robot Devil: In marriage!
Leela: [talking] What?
Robot Devil: You'd give me your hand in marriage!
Hermes: Is this really happening or just being staged?
Farnsworth: It can't be real--
Amy: Not if Leela is engaged.
Leela: That isn't what I meant,
That isn't what I signed.
Robot Devil: You should have checked the wording in the fine... [He makes the contract larger.] Print.
Leela: [reading the contract] I'll give you my hand...
Leela and Robot Devil: In marriage.
Bender: The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention,
Now that is "irony".
Robot Devil: I will marry her now and confine her to hell,
Where Styx is a river,
And not just a band,
Though they'll play our reception if all goes as planned,
Unless, Fry, you surrender my hands!
Fry: Destiny has cheated me,
By forcing me to decide upon,
The woman that I idolise,
Or the hands of an automaton.
Without these hands I can't complete,
The opera that was captivating her,
But if I keep them,
And she marries him,
Then he probably won't want me dating her.
Farnsworth: I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving.
Zoidberg: I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!
Preacherbot: By the power vested in me,
By the state of New New York-
Fry: [talking] No! Stop! Take my hands!
[singing] You evil, metal dork!