I Want My Hands Back
Music by Ken Keeler
Lyrics by Ken Keeler
Performed by Dan Castellaneta as the Robot Devil, Billy West as Fry, Zoidberg and Farnsworth, Katey Sagal as Leela, Lauren Tom as Amy, Phil LaMarr as Hermes and Preacherbot
Appearance The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings

I Want My Hands Back was performed by Robot Devil, Fry, Leela, Farnsworth, Amy, Hermes, Zoidberg and Preacherbot in The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings. The song was nominated for an Emmy in 2004.

Fry: [speaking] Look, what do you want?

Robot Devil: [singing] I want my hands back.[Laughing]

Fry: [talking] Never!

[singing] A deal's a deal,

Even with a dirty dealer.

Robot Devil: Very well,

Then I'll take what I want from Leela.

Leela has promised me her hand.

Leela: Fry, you do not understand.

I should have revealed I've been deafened by Bender,

The shame,

The shame!

But I feared you'd stop writing this musical splendor,

Deception's the curse of my whimsical gender,

He gave me mechanical ears,

Effective though just a bit garish,

In return without shedding a tear,

I agreed that I'd give him my hand--

Robot Devil: In marriage!

Leela: [talking] What?

Robot Devil: You'd give me your hand in marriage!

Hermes: Is this really happening or just being staged?

Farnsworth: It can't be real--

Amy: Not if Leela is engaged.

Leela: That isn't what I meant,

That isn't what I signed.

Robot Devil: You should have checked the wording in the fine... [He makes the contract larger.] Print.

Leela: [reading the contract] I'll give you my hand...

Leela and Robot Devil: In marriage.

Bender: The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention,

Now that is "irony".

Robot Devil: I will marry her now and confine her to hell,

How droll,

How droll!

Where Styx is a river,

And not just a band,

Though they'll play our reception if all goes as planned,

Unless, Fry, you surrender my hands!

Fry: Destiny has cheated me,

By forcing me to decide upon,

The woman that I idolise,

Or the hands of an automaton.

Without these hands I can't complete,

The opera that was captivating her,

But if I keep them,

And she marries him,

Then he probably won't want me dating her.

Farnsworth: I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving.

Zoidberg: I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!

Preacherbot: By the power vested in me,

By the state of New New York-

Fry: [talking] No! Stop! Take my hands!

[singing] You evil, metal dork!

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