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|I May as Well Jump|
|Music by||Christopher Tyng|
|Lyrics by||Ken Keeler|
|Performed by||Farnsworth, Nudar, Leela, Hermes, Bender, Robot Santa, Fry, Zoidberg, Amy, Tinny Tim, and Nibbler|
|Appearance||Bender's Big Score|
Fry[speaking]: That's it, I don't see how things could get any worse.
Bender[speaking]: We could sing.
Farnsworth[speaking]: I'd rather kill myself.
Amy[speaking]: Why not do both?
Farnsworth[speaking]: Very Well.
Farnsworth: I may as well jump.
Those sleazy naked scammers
made me look like a chump.
Farnsworth: They robbed me of my dignity
and most of my stuff.
Leela: Lars brought me candy.
Others: Cram it down and shut the hell up.
Hermes: I can't compete with that.
He's Barbados Slim,
and I'm Jamaican fat.
Who would choose a backwards corpse,
with lice in his hair?
Leela: Lars says I'm dreamy.
Others: Who the hell cares?
Bender: Oh, won't somebody shoot her please
and put her out of our misery?
Robot Santa[speaking]: That's my cue.
Tinny Tim: Oh, my word.
Fry: Lars makes me puke.
I bet she'd love me too,
if I was a bald-headed kook.
Leela: Hey, guess what, guys.
Leela: While we were huddled in fear,
Lars popped the question.
Farnsworth : Congratulations!
Zoidberg: Mazel tov!
Amy: May stars in heaven bless your love!
Bender: I think I'm gonna cry,
'cause it's an extra-happy Xmas this year.