Quotes Edit

[Scene: Gypsy's Caravan.]
Gypsy: Sure I hold séance, channel your friend, no problem. Insert coin.
[Fry inserts 5 cents and the Gypsy moans as she "channels" Bender.]
Gypsy: I am your friend Bonder.
Fry: Bonder? Is it really you?
Gypsy: Yes. I am fine. Give the gypsy $10.
Fry: Wait a minute! Bender's name isn't Bonder, it's Bender. You're a fraud!
Gypsy: Look, you want false hope or not?
Fry: Only if you don't have any real hope.
Gypsy: Well, there is perhaps one way. Have you heard of the Monks of Deshuba?
Fry: ...I've..not heard of them...
Gypsy: They are an ancient order that believes God exists somewhere in the depths of space. They have built the universe's most powerful radio telescope, high in the Himalayas, to search for him.
Fry: You think they'd let me use it to look for Bender?
Gypsy: What am I, psychic? I mean, yes! Yes, I'm-I'm sure they will. Yes.

[Scene: Monastery of Deshuba. The radio dish tilts as the monks search the sky.]
Monk #1: A member of our brotherhood sits at these controls every hour of every day, scanning the heavens for God.
Leela: How long have you been at it?
Monk #1: 700 years. We've not yet examined one-ten-millionth of the sky. But we will go on until we find the Almighty, even if it takes till the end of time.
Fry: And then what?
Monk #1: Then we utter unto him a short prayer. You see, the telescope is also an amplifying transmitter.
Leela: Sort of like a giant karaoke machine?
Monk #1: Not really. Would you like to see our giant karaoke machine?
Leela: Not really.
Fry: Hmm. Finding God. That-That's important, yeah. But you know what might be a treat for everyone? If you let me use the telescope to find my lost friend, Bender.
Monk #1: I-I don't know what to say... other than: absolutely not! Your loss is a tragedy, but our work--
Fry: Oh, come on! You have forever to look for God! All I'm asking is one measly lifetime to find my friend!
Monk #2: He speaks out of love for his friend. Perhaps that love in his heart is God.
Monk #1: Oh, how convenient! A theory about God that doesn't require looking through a telescope. Get back to work!

[Scene: The villages on Bender are having war]
Malachai Jr.: Maybe if I hug God real hard, he'll protect us from.... (The village explodes.)
Bender: Noooooooooo!!!!

[Scene: Bender meets God]

Bender: You know, I was God once.

God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.

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