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|The Bureaucrat Song|
|Music by||Ken Keeler, and possibly Christopher Tyng|
|Lyrics by||Ken Keeler|
|Performed by||Hermes Conrad, LaBarbara Conrad, Zoidberg, Farnsworth, Leela, Bender, Morgan Proctor, and Bureaucrats|
|Appearance||How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back|
Hermes: When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town
with a foot and a half of water
Everyone was alright, but I cried all night
It blew my alphabet blocks out of order
And they said this boy’s born to be a bureaucrat
Born to be all obsessive and snotty
I made my friends and relations file long applications
To get into my tenth birthday party.
LaBarbara: But something changed when my man turned pro.
Hermes: I was sorting but I wasn't smilin'
LaBarbara: He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks
Hermes: It's supposed to be about the filin'!
We didn't choose to be bureaucrats
No, that's what Almighty Jah made us
We'd treat people like swine and make them stand in line
Even if nobody paid us
They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats
They say we're anal, compulsive and weird
But when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
Even if it's not a good idea
Zoidberg: They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon
Farnsworth: They poo-pooed my electric frankfurter
Leela: They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye
Bender: I am Bender please insert girder
Hermes: Everybody sing Jamaica!
Hermes: Just the bureaucrats - Jamaica!
Hermes: The grade nineteens!
Morgan Proctor: ... Jamaica.
Hermes: Sing me home,
When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
Even if it's not a good idea!
Bender: I am Bender baby, please insert liquor!