Zapp Brannigan: So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors. How very neutral of you. Leela: What?! Zapp Brannigan: That was almost the perfect crime. But you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock … and scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum. Kif:[sigh] Zapp Brannigan: Search them for paper! And bring me a rock.
Judge: Zapp Brannigan, you stand accused of blowing up Doop-headquarters. How do you plead? Zapp Brannigan: Absolutely, 99 % not guilty.
Bender: This is all Leela's fault! Fry: Yeah, if she had let us use the backup dolly, we could have broken it, given up and gone home by now!
Bender: Leela save me! And yourself, I guess! And my banjo! And Fry!
