Zapp Brannigan: So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors. How very neutral of you.
Leela: What?!
Zapp Brannigan: That was almost the perfect crime. But you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock … and scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum.
Kif: [sigh]
Zapp Brannigan: Search them for paper! And bring me a rock.

Zapp: I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me. 

Judge: Zapp Brannigan, you stand accused of blowing up Doop-headquarters. How do you plead?
Zapp Brannigan: Absolutely, 99 % not guilty.

Bender: This is all Leela's fault!
Fry: Yeah, if she had let us use the backup dolly, we could have broken it, given up and gone home by now!

Bender: Leela save me! And yourself, I guess! And my banjo! And Fry!

Leela: Your Honour, it's all true: My female incompetence, Zapp's cat-like reflexes, the stuff that made no sense, all of it.

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