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Brannigan, Begin Again/Quotes

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Zapp Brannigan: So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors. How very neutral of you.
Leela: What?!
Zapp Brannigan: That was almost the perfect crime. But you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock … and scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum.
Kif: [sigh]
Zapp Brannigan: Search them for paper! And bring me a rock.


Judge: Zapp Brannigan, you stand accused of blowing up Doop-headquarters. How do you plead?
Zapp Brannigan: Absolutely, 99 % not guilty.


Bender: This is all Leela's fault!
Fry: Yeah, if she had let us use the backup dolly, we could have broken it, given up and gone home by now!


Bender: Leela save me! And yourself, I guess! And my banjo! And Fry!

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