- ""Hail, hail, Robonia - a land I didn't make up.""
- ―Bender, singing
Bend Her is the thirteenth episode of Season Five of Futurama.
Plot
The torch for the 3004 Olympics is lit and the Planet Express crew watches the Parade of Nations before going to check on Hermes. The Jamaican team had been detained at the airport so Hermes has been called to take their place. Unfortunately, Hermes hasn't limbo-ed in 20 years, so the Professor created a Flabo Dynamic Suit to help him. Barbados Slim, Hermes' rival and LaBarbara's ex-husband is also competing and Hermes has never won to him. Hermes starts off the race well, but as he nears the last pole, the suit gives way and the pole is knocked off, disqualifying him. Bender, watching the bending competitions, believes himself to be a shoo-in until he sees some of his fellow competitors. He decides to disguise himself as Fembot named Coilette, in order to cheat in the robot Olympics.
Bender wins five gold medals for the fictional country of Robonia, but it is revealed that the winners will have their oil tested to confirm that they are actually fembots. He begs the Professor to make a woman out of him, so he undergoes a sex-change operation to replace his testosteroil with fembot lubricants to deceive the judges. Though the Professor warns that he may suffer wild mood swings and runs the risk of becoming a fembot permanently, he decides to go through it anyway. Leela and Amy protest, claiming Bender will harm the dignity of women everywhere. The Professor defends that he's doing this "for the proud people of Robonia." Bender then goes under the sex-change procedure and emerges as Coilette, passes the test and gets to keep his medals. The Professor tells Bender he needs to change back because the Femzoil is getting into his processor, but Bender is invited to appear on the show Late night with Humorbot 5.0. While on the show, Coilette strikes up a relationship with Calculon and the two arrange to meet for dinner that night.
Coilette gets ready for her date, over the protests of the crew. Fry is grossed out that his best friend is dating a man and Amy and Leela are upset that Bender is acting like a tramp. After feeling attacked by the crew, Coilette runs out and the Professor shares the fact that Bender is having mood swings and needs the oil change operation.
Coilette and Calculon dine at Elzar's Fine Cuisine. Calculon says that he wishes to spend some quality time with Coilette. Bender is initially aghast at this, until Calculon mentions he happens to own the world's largest yacht. Coilette accepts, and the two spend days together. Bender returns to the Planet Express building, showing the crew the gifts Calculon showered Bender with, a vase of puppies amongst them. After a brief exchange between Leela, Amy and Bender, Calculon appears with Boxy and proposes to Coilette. Bender accepts.
Fry tells Bender how much he'll miss him and that he's more like a brother than a sister to him. However, Bender states that he plans to use the marriage to scam Calculon for half his fortune. Leela disapproves, but Bender is dismissive of her concerns. Coilette and Calculon go on a date in a hot-air balloon, where Calculon presents her with the remote control to his heart and offers to give up acting for her, as he truly loves her. Coilette begins to weep.
Back at Planet Express, we see Bender weeping. He cries that he cannot go through with the scam, no longer wishing to hurt Calculon, meaning that he's coming to the final stages of womanhood and the effects will become irreversible soon. Leela offers to help, on condition that Bender will forever return to being a man-bot. When Bender agrees, Leela states there is no way to stop the marriage without hurting him, but as an actor, he is used to 'soap opera pain'.
We cut to the wedding, the crew wearing a variety of absurd costumes. As the ceremony begins, Coilette faints, causing Calculon to call for a doctor. Zoidberg appears on cue, diagnosing a case of African Hydraulic Fever, an often fatal disease. A short series of convoluted events follows, culminating in Coilette faking deadly impalement on a spear and Calculon swearing to honor her memory with a film.
Sometime later, at the Planet Express building, Calculon's movie, called Coilette, a Calculon Story is on the television. The Professor, in the process of turning Bender back into a man-bot, tells them to turn the TV off. One mistake now and Bender will be trapped between genders. As Bender is about to say something heartwarming about Calculon, his antenna pops back up, returning to his old self, causing him to exclaim that he and Calculon could run to Vegas and pick up some fembots. As they continue watching the movie, the rest of the male characters leave, complaining about how Calculon is too emotional towards actor Coilette; Bender looks back with tear-filled eyes. Leela and Amy turn, surprised, and question him. Bender replies that they don't dress trampy enough.